My first Pacific sunset
All of my sunsets that I’ve ever seen or photographed have been on the east coast. Today, the weather was good and I was able to photograph my first west coast sunset. We drove to Pacific Grove, CA, which is just a few minutes from where we are staying. We went to a place called Lover’s Point, probably for obvious reasons. There are lots of place to park and make-out! 
Anyway, the four of us headed there, parked, and watch the sun go down. Richard and I took pictures, the ladies talked and drank wine. No wine for me, though, I was the designated driver. Friday, Richard and I head out with Monterey John on a California adventure!
Cottleston, Cottleston, Cottleston Pie!
A day at the bay
Though I don’t think about it actively, sometimes ideas pop in my head about why I photograph. I’ve thought about it before, but sometimes those little reaffirmations just pop up.
Yesterday, my wife and I went to Monterey to hang out. We had no agenda in mind; we just wanted to go and a walk around and let whatever happens, happen. We ended up going to a small area near Fisherman’s Wharf that had a small pond, benches, lots of seagulls and geese just waiting to be fed, and a lot of people going to and fro. We took a stroll toward the beach, ended up on the path, and just began to walk. For the first time since I’ve been here, I broke a sweat. We were in full sun and it was in the mid 70′s. This is in sharp contrast to Carmel-By-The-Sea, which is but about 8 minutes away, if that far, and is constantly socked in by dense layers of fog for most of the day. Mind you, fog makes for a great diffuser and you could take stunning portrait and macro photos all day long!
Wife + Beach = Big Smile!
It was a great day in Monterey, even though we only spent about 3 hours there. So, after our good friends, Richard and Tamami arrived, we hung out with them from the balance of the day, laughed, had a bit of wine, and in general had a lot of fun. We took them to the beach and to some cliffs. I found out that no one except me seems to care for heights. They don’t bother me, it’s just the widths that bother me! 
So, after the day was finished and we had returned to our room, I grabbed my book that I had just bought: The Tao of Pooh. It’s a fantastic little book and is a description of Taoist philosophy based on the character, Winne The Pooh. Pooh is the perfect Tao character. He’s very simple, goes along through life kind of willy-nilly, and in the end, things just always seem to work out for him. He’s not intelligent, nor cleaver, he just is. Other characters are represented in the book as well: Owl as intelligence, Rabbit as Cleverness, Piglet as hesitation, etc.
Pooh’s meanderings remind me so much of my photography of late. I have thousands upon thousands of photographs that will probably never see the light of day, most of which have only been seen by me, but that’s OK. I’ve read lots of blog posts, etc. where people are taking photos to sell, compete, display, etc. All of that is cool. I’m not sure what my ‘goal’ is, but I am sure about the journey. The journey is to have fun and to explore.
No worries! No hurries!
It is said that when you have a goal and you reach it, it’s not so sweet as was the chase, which is why people continue to make more and more goals; they seem to relish the chase. Take, for example, people like Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates. These people have more money than they could possibly spend in perhaps 10 life times. If money is the ultimate measure of success then they have reached the pinnacle, yet, they continue to produce and to conquer. It’s about the chase/journey, not the goal. For what have you after you reach the goal, it’s over.
Each click of the shutter is another step in a never ending adventure of exploration. It’s about seeing. It’s about distraction. Surely, when I am walking along, with our without camera, unless I’m in a conversation, I am distracted somewhat by everything that is around me. I love to ‘frame’. Writing this blog is similar. I have no idea when it will end and I write it because I feel the need to write. Why do I feel the need? Need everything be answered? I write because, well, as Pooh would say:
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie,
Why does a chicken? I don’t know why.
Ask me a riddle and I reply
Cottleston Cottleston Cottleston Pie.
Which means, I have no idea, but it’s not important, I do and that’s good enough for me. Herein, there are thousands of words that will never be read, except perhaps by me and a few others who honor me by stopping by, but the goal is not to increase my numbers. There is no goal, only a very fun, stimulating, and exciting journey.
As always, thanks for reading!
The San Francisco Chronicles
To start with, I was going to take a hiatus from writing, but my wife encouraged me to write as it happened. We each have our quiet time where she reads or I write or take pictures. So….
On Sunday, the day started out very well. My son dropped me off at the airport at about 7:45 for my 9:30 flight. I made it through check-in and security by 8:30, giving me an hour to relax by the gate, camera in hand, watching the ebb and flow of the airport hallways.
Soon, I was on my wife. We took off on time, landing in SFO a full 15 minutes ahead of schedule, only to have to wait for a gate for about 20 minutes. After leaving the plain, it was off to get the luggage and then to rental car counter to get my ride! The luggage came rather slowly, as is SOP (Standard Operating Procedure) for US Airways, who has the glory of being worst customer service for 3 years running! Go US Scare, I mean Air!
After waiting in line at Dollar Rent A Car, I had my vehicle and was on my way. I checked into the hotel and set about my journey. I had about 7 hours to kill until my wife came in from Dallas and thought that I’d take in some of the sights that Monterey John had suggested.
Treasure Island! Here I come! Eventually…
So, off on my journey to Treasure Island Naval Station. I got on the freeway, 101 North and headed for adventure. What I found was traffic! Lots and lots off traffic. The sign on the freeway gave me hope: Travel time to Treasure Island, 13 minutes. Well, I figured that I could wait for 13 minutes, I’m a patient kind of guy! Well, some 90 minutes later, I arrived at Treasure Island! There were signs everywhere proclaiming that the Bay Bridge was going to be closed for Labor Day weekend! As I sat stuck in the traffic, I wondered: Is the damn thing open right now?!
Anyway, taking advantage of the wait time, I just sat, listened to music, marveled at the view of San Francisco, and waited until it was my turn to exit. Here’s where being in the moment works really well. I was not frustrated one single iota. Not a bit. I was in traffic and that was the reality of it. Jump in the river and go with the flow.
Looking back to SF from Treasure Island
Before you knew it, I was on Treasure Island! John had advised me to dress in layers. I should have heeded that advice. I arrived in typical southern boy summer wear. I had on shorts, sandals, and a tee shirt! I, obviously, was not ready for what I got. As soon as I stepped out of the car and that 20 MPH, 62 degrees breeze hit me, I understood that I wasn’t in Charlotte anymore! I also understood why no one could have made a swim from Alcatraz to San Francisco. That water is cold ALL-OF-THE-TIME! San Francisco doesn’t have a summer. The sun may shine, but it sure doesn’t heat up the air much! I have to admit, though, this is my kind of weather. No air conditioning needed. I have the windows open all of the time and am quite comfortable. Delicious!
Psychedelic, baby!
OK, on to step two: John also suggested that I head over the Golden Gate Bridge and check out the view from a park on that side. I gave it my best shot, but took an exit too soon and ended up in downtown SF with its cast of colorful characters! I thought about circling back around to try to find the bridge, but there was no way that I was going to get back on 101 North and spend another ’13′ minutes, AKA 90 minutes, trying to get back around to the bridge! It’d have to wait for another day!
Well, that’s one way that you can do it!
So, I cruised up and down the streets of SF seeing what I could see until I headed back south on 101. I was tired. I went back to the room, left again, shot a few more pictures of the bay, which was right behind the hotel, took a snooze until it was time to pick up my wife from the airport, and that concluded my first day in the wonderful city of San Francisco.
Every little bit helps!
We don’t do sunrises!
Fetch!
I can safely say that I’m an East Coast photographer, especially when it comes to beaches. All of my beach photos have been taken on the that side of the country, so I’m used to a certain routine. Knowing that the sun will rise from the horizon and be pointing pretty much right into my lens within minutes after sunrise, I have to get to the beach about 1 hour before sunrise. I set up my equipment, watch the sky change colors along with the clouds, etc. By about 30 minutes to a maximum of 1 hour after sunrise, it’s time to head to the house. Shootings over.
Well, I tried to use my same technique here on the left, er, west coast. Nope, it doesn’t work. First of all, down here in Carmel, the mountains prevent the sun from showing itself until about 8:30 – 9:00 AM. Add to that all of the coastal fog that sometimes hangs around all day and you get less than spectacular sunrises and no sunsets! As MJ, Monterey John, says: We don’t do sunrises! How true.
Luther & Flash (dog)
This morning I spent a great deal of time trying to figure out how to photograph the fog, contemplating the fog, if you will. It was such a different environment. Nothing is in sharp relief. Everything is low contrast. I kept thinking that there was something wrong with my auto focus. Nothing seemed sharp!
A sunset, of sorts
I didn’t really come up with anything worthwhile, except for some experience points, but it was fun. I spent some 2 1/2 hours out exploring. It was well worth the effort.
Tomorrow morning, I think that I’ll stay in bed for a while, grab a bite to eat, then hit the road about 8:30 … West Coast style!!!
I’m goin’ back to Cali
Well folks, it’s vacation time, including a short vacation from the blog! I’ll be in California from August 26th – Sep 2nd. During that time, I’ll be spending some quality time with my wife and our good friends, Richard and Tamami. During that time, I’ll just be totally focused on enjoying the moments spent with them and not thinking about what I’m going to write, which I tend to do sometimes.
When I return, I’ll probably jump right into the swing of things and share my experiences of California with you. For now, I’ve left you with a picture of the day. These are some of my favorites. Some you’ve seen, other’s you’ve not seen. Picture of the day. Feel free to leave comments, or not.
Enjoy. I’ll see you soon!!!
It’s difficult to explain.
Joy
The first part of the first passage of The Tao says that the meaning of the Tao cannot be fully understood intellectually, it must be felt. Talking about it can be useful, but will never replace the feeling of it. I think of this as the equivalent of: “Let go. Let God”.
Control: What is life without control? I could use thousands of words to explain, but there is nothing quite like living it. A few to whom I’ve tried to explain, don’t get it. A couple of people do, mainly my wife and my good friend, Rajesh. They get because they live it. Again, this is more than intellectual understanding. Life, without control, is blissful. Life without judging every single person that I see is even better.
It’s about 6:00 AM now. My wife has just left for the airport. She’s flying to Dallas to attend her brother’s 25th marriage anniversary. She will meet me in San Francisco on Sunday night. Just even 2 months ago, I would have become a bit upset, if not angry because we were not traveling to SFO together. Now, since I am willing to accept things as they are, it’s not an issue. She didn’t force me to attend and I didn’t force her to fly with me. No guilty feelings whatsoever, only a wonderful hug and kiss before departure. That’s it. This, I believe, is the first time in 16 years that we’ve not traveled on vacation together. We are, however, catching the same flight back. I look at it as an opportunity to get to know myself better and to spend more time with my boys for the next two days. Pedro is coming home to stay with Tony for the week. The flight from CLT to SFO is about 5 hours, which will give me plenty of time to read one of the three new books that I have, all about the Tao. I’m sure the 5 hours will evaporate quickly. When I get to SFO, the first 10 hours of my life there are mine. I’m free to explore. I’ll take what comes to me.
Now
Anticipation: My wife, as well as others, have asked me if I’m excited about the pending trip. I can honestly say, no. I’m not ‘looking forward’ to it. What?!!! I’m very happy where I am now. A trip to California will not make me happier, that I know of. When I arrive there at that moment, I’m pretty sure that I’ll be happy too; however, I am here, now … not ‘looking forward’. When I look forward:
- I miss what’s happening now.
- it makes my day so much longer.
- The nights tend to drag on because I want to be reunited with my wife.
- I don’t spend the quality time that I want to with my boys. I’m somewhere else. My mind, then, is already in San Francisco.
- I feel anxious because I want everything to work out right – right meaning the way that I want it
When I get to SFO, I’ll certainly see different scenery, but no less important scenery. I’ll experience the magic of San Francisco, just like I experience the magic of Charlotte … a moment at a time. Looking back presents the same opportunities for those anxious feelings:ShouldaWouldaCouldaMightaOughta No thanks.
So, does this make me numb, uncaring, unfeeling, boring? Do I have any excitement in my life? Of course I have excitement, except it is real excitement because it is happening right now, not in my thoughts about what I might do or have done. What is disappointment? Disappointment is not having your ‘expectations’ met. No expectations. No disappointments. It’s a different way of looking at things.
My goal is to live outside of my thoughts, to be out of my mind, so to speak. Some might say that I’ve already arrived at that point! The joy comes when I see a friend that I’ve not seen in a long time or perhaps talk to them on the phone. The joy comes when I walk through the door, am greeted by my dog, drop my bags, and give him the same type of reception that he gives me every day. Down on my knees I go for a hug and a belly rub. I like when he rubs my belly!
Curious
The joy comes when I get to wrap my arms around my son upon entry and listen to how his day went and how many cool basketball moves he did for 15 minutes without end. The joy comes when I have that quiet time to learn about myself. The joy comes when I sit with my wife and have a glass of wine and talk about this and that. The joy comes when I submerse my foot in a cool stream, feel the water coursing around my ankles, feel the temperature variations as the water flows by, feeling the fish as they come to see what has invaded their territory. The joy is always there. There’s no need to anticipate, life will bring it to me moment by moment.
Am I a Tao sage or master? Heck no! I barely know what I’m doing. I’m just learning what it is intellectually and feeling it more and more each day. For the past two or three solid weeks, I’ve been totally without stress or anxiety. It’s quite unnerving if you start to anticipate: “Will I be able to have this feeling forever?”. This simply means that I need more practice in staying in the ‘now’.
In the end, I don’t know if I have explained it. You just have to live it.
For now, I am happy.
One of my best summers
School starts next week on August 27th. This, in my mind, signals the end to summer. This summer, quite honestly, has been filled with a lot of angst at times, stress at others, and great losses at other times. However, in retrospect, it has been one of the best summers that I have had in my life. Sure, it’s been busy and I’ve not had much time to do a lot of the things that we normally do, like go to the beach or mountains nearly every other weekend, but it has been a summer of fantastic spiritual growth and a multitude of opportunities to get to know myself and my wife.
As the only constant in this world is change, I am in line with that. I’m a completely different person than I was at the beginning of summer. I struggled mightily against change and, as usual, lost 100% of the time. Now, I know that all I need do is steer. I, metaphorically, ride the river and enjoy it.
I remember my last trip to California, April 2006. I remember driving from Big Sur to Carmel and passing, somewhere along the way, past a house or small community that had lots of signs for peace and against war. I remember thinking, they just don’t get it! Sometimes you have to fight!!! Damn peaceniks! I could say that I’m 90% in the opposite direction now. I’m not a pacifist, but now believe that you should only fight if you are cornered and have exhausted all options, and if you win, you should not celebrate the victory, but instead, work to make things right. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi had it right all of the time, even Malcolm X came around to this peaceful philosophy. Violence begets violence and there is no such thing as winning a war. (Please no political commentary). These are my personal beliefs, not political views. I’m not anti-anything, but pro-many things.
I already knew to keep violence out of my life. I don’t watch television, except movies that I get from Netflix. I don’t read the newspaper. I don’t listen to the news on the radio. I am not informed. I help when I can. Next, to remove violent movies from my ‘diet’. I prefer comedies anyway.
I’ve also learned that if you want to help a cause, violent protest is not the way, but being an example works better. If you don’t like litter, pick it up, don’t judge and deride those who throw the trash. Perhaps, if someone sees you picking it up, they might do likewise, but in the end, that’s not the goal, the goal is to deposit the litter in the trash can.
I’ve learned how to be really kind to my wife, my kids, and to everyone that I meet because it’s the right thing to do for me. I’ve learned to temper desire. Desire being my expectation of the outcome of some act that I am performing. Now, when I open the door for someone, I don’t expect to hear a thank you and it doesn’t bother me one bit if they don’t say it. They don’t owe me anything, not even a thank you. I’ve learned to call friends just to talk, even if they never call me. They don’t owe me a phone call in return.
I now understand why people read their religious or spiritual texts every day; it brings peace. I read a passage from the Tao Te Ching each morning before going to work. I’ve learned to challenge my thoughts and feel that I am at peace.
My learning continues, as does my change …