One of my best summers

School starts next week on August 27th. This, in my mind, signals the end to summer. This summer, quite honestly, has been filled with a lot of angst at times, stress at others, and great losses at other times. However, in retrospect, it has been one of the best summers that I have had in my life. Sure, it’s been busy and I’ve not had much time to do a lot of the things that we normally do, like go to the beach or mountains nearly every other weekend, but it has been a summer of fantastic spiritual growth and a multitude of opportunities to get to know myself and my wife.

As the only constant in this world is change, I am in line with that. I’m a completely different person than I was at the beginning of summer. I struggled mightily against change and, as usual, lost 100% of the time. Now, I know that all I need do is steer. I, metaphorically, ride the river and enjoy it.

I remember my last trip to California, April 2006. I remember driving from Big Sur to Carmel and passing, somewhere along the way, past a house or small community that had lots of signs for peace and against war. I remember thinking, they just don’t get it! Sometimes you have to fight!!! Damn peaceniks! I could say that I’m 90% in the opposite direction now. I’m not a pacifist, but now believe that you should only fight if you are cornered and have exhausted all options, and if you win, you should not celebrate the victory, but instead, work to make things right. Martin Luther King Jr. and Mahatma Gandhi had it right all of the time, even Malcolm X came around to this peaceful philosophy. Violence begets violence and there is no such thing as winning a war. (Please no political commentary). These are my personal beliefs, not political views. I’m not anti-anything, but pro-many things.

I already knew to keep violence out of my life. I don’t watch television, except movies that I get from Netflix. I don’t read the newspaper. I don’t listen to the news on the radio. I am not informed. I help when I can. Next, to remove violent movies from my ‘diet’. I prefer comedies anyway.

I’ve also learned that if you want to help a cause, violent protest is not the way, but being an example works better. If you don’t like litter, pick it up, don’t judge and deride those who throw the trash. Perhaps, if someone sees you picking it up, they might do likewise, but in the end, that’s not the goal, the goal is to deposit the litter in the trash can.

I’ve learned how to be really kind to my wife, my kids, and to everyone that I meet because it’s the right thing to do for me. I’ve learned to temper desire. Desire being my expectation of the outcome of some act that I am performing. Now, when I open the door for someone, I don’t expect to hear a thank you and it doesn’t bother me one bit if they don’t say it. They don’t owe me anything, not even a thank you. I’ve learned to call friends just to talk, even if they never call me. They don’t owe me a phone call in return.

I now understand why people read their religious or spiritual texts every day; it brings peace. I read a passage from the Tao Te Ching each morning before going to work. I’ve learned to challenge my thoughts and feel that I am at peace.

My learning continues, as does my change …