Journies

Sometimes when you win, you really lose, and sometimes when you lose, you really win, and sometimes when you win or lose, you actually tie, and sometimes when you tie, you actually win or lose. Winning or losing is all one organic mechanism, from which one extracts what one needs. Rosie Perez – White men can’t jump

Heading for lower ground. Destination, sea level!

Most of the time, I don’t think about my journey, I just participate in it; however, sometimes I do look at it. Of late, the journey has been chaotic. Mind you, it is chaotic only because I think it so. What I mean by that is that by not accepting certain events, I consider them chaotic because things are not organized the way that I want. Like Rosie Perez said, winning or losing is all one organic mechanism… It’s all relative to your point of view. Events are events, neither good nor bad, right nor wrong. These events are life situations, not life itself.

I believe that life offers thousands of opportunities for us to grow. Let’s call them tests. For each test that you ‘take’ you can either pass, where you have some growth and learn something about yourself, or ‘fail’ where you wallow in self pity because life did not go the way that you expected it to. The Tao Te Ching frequently uses water as a metaphor for having a fulfilling life: Water seeks the lowest point (humility). Water does not attempt to move obstacles, but simply goes around, over, under, or in the presence of cracks, through.

Recently, I think that life has presented me with a number of very large opportunities to grow. It is said that those within your family are your best teachers. They will test you in every area in which you need to grow. Need patience? They’ll test it. Need to be less ‘right’. They’ll test it. At this period in my life, I feel that I am constantly in a state of ‘final exam’. Lots of my beliefs are being tested, as well as ideals. Sometimes I feel as if I’m passing with flying colors, other times, failing miserably; however, the most difficult thing is learning to stay in the moment. Staying in the moment means just that. You deal with only what is happening right now. You learn to be an observer to your thinking mind and just ‘be’. When I feel anger, sadness, or some emotion descend upon me, I know that it is the old thinking mind trying to assert itself, so I just let the emotion come, most times I don’t act on it, but just observe it. There are those times when I do let it take over, but those are lessening. What is stress? Stress is the desire/thought that you should be somewhere where you are not. You’ve not accepted ‘what is’.

Obstacles? Around, over, through, or under.
Living in your mind, that is in the realm of thought, is troubling. There are always thoughts of should (against reality), could (possible future), would (possible better future), might (future), ought(against reality). The past and the future, frankly, do not exist. Everything else is thinking. Thinking that life will be better when … or life was better when, totally missing out on what is happening right ‘now’. When I win the tournament, I’ll be happy … when I get that new car, I’ll be happy … when I get published, I’ll be happy, when I was 22, I was happy, etc. Being present takes work. While sitting here typing this post, my mind is babbling on about “shouldn’t you be starting work … going for a walk with Hobbs … out taking pictures … taking a shower”. I let it have its say and then continue on with my typing, fully in the moment. There is only the eternal moment.

I look at my dog, Hobbs. He is a Zen master. He lives only in the moment. He doesn’t think about that he didn’t get to go for a walk yesterday, nor hope for one tomorrow; however, when I pick up the leash, it’s like his first time ever going for a walk. He’s excited!!! When we go for a walk he approaches it with so much excitement and exuberance. He always greets the same people, or new ones, like he’s never seen a person before, with complete and absolute love and trust. He knows no strangers. He is in tune with the flow of life. I learn a lot from him. I’ll keep watching. I probably won’t sleep as much as he, but I can still learn a lot when he’s awake! He’s a master teacher. He has days when he just barks at everything, especially when I’m trying to sleep. On these days, I learn patience. I can accept him for who he is, but don’t have to keep him in the bedroom. I don’t get mad at him, I just evict him! I still love him, but can sleep better without the barking!

Lastly, I’m really starting to understand the above movie quote. If you’ve not seen the movie, Rosie’s boyfriend, played by Woody Harrelson, said that for me it’s simple, when you win, you win, and when you lose, you lose. However, he later came to realize that, after he had satisfied his ego and won a basketball tournament that he had lost his girlfriend. At this point he understood that he had won, but really lost. Getting things your way can be like that. It’s a temporary, shallow victory sometimes; however, if you had lost, you might have won something vastly more important.

The journey continues … Thanks for reading!

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