Exploration

As part of American history, we all learned about Christopher Columbus and his epic voyage to “The New World”. So what. Done. Gone. Completed. Yeah, that’s nice! The other day, walking around Capital Square in Columbus, OH, I came upon a statue of Christopher Columbus, sat upon a bench, and looked up at the statue. Immediately, I connected with Christopher Columbus. What an extremely courageous man he must have been, I thought. Here is where I tie my photography with my experience. Notice that in the picture, he holds a globe, not a flat disk. He believed the world to be round.

Imagine, at that time, everyone ‘knew’ that the world was flat and to sail off to the horizon meant certain death. You would fall off of the edge, and that was that. You’d be killed by the dragons that lived there. Maps were even marked, at the edges of the ‘known world’, with “Here be dragons”. Yet, Christopher Columbus had faith that the accepted ‘truth’ of the time, was not necessarily true. He was an explorer. I would imagine that he interviewed a great number of potential sailors before getting his crew. Many probably were afraid to face their death. Those that did accept the challenge were rewarded handsomely with the new discovery. The New World.

One of the authors that you’ve heard me mention periodically is Byron Katie. Byron Katie asks:

Who would you be without your story?
–Bryron Katie

What exactly is your story? Quite simply, your unquestioned thoughts. Those thoughts that you believe to be the truth, without question. Your story is that which you believe about yourself, those around you, and your particular view of reality. We all have limitless potential, yet, we are shaped, molded, enslaved if you will, by the thoughts and words of others that we believe to be true, but mostly by our own thoughts. Growing up, your parents said that you should do this, that, the other, be this religion, be this certain person. Society imposes lots of expectations on us as well. Further, we create great amounts of suffering, which is distinctly different from pain, when we continuously deny reality. Suffering is caused by thoughts. Pain can be physical or emotional.

For example, I could feel a little stab of pain at being away from family for so long, yet I do not suffer. I do not suffer because, well, it’s reality, and that’s just what it is right now. I have come to accept it. I do not think about when I will return home because I do not know, therefore, no anxiety. Living in the moment cleans up all sorts of heartache and suffering. Depression comes from thoughts of the past. Anxiety, from thoughts of the future. Both robbing one of the happiness of the moment. I still dance a bit too much with anxiety, but it’s getting better.

Little by little, I am stripping away my story. I am stripping away my self-imposed, and other, labels about who I am. The truth is, I can be many different people in a given day. We constantly change and to hold on to all of those old labels/requirements does nothing but invite anxiety. Mind you, this journey to the ‘new world’ initially invites lots of anxiety, which comes from trying to see the future. I am stripping of layers of varnish to try to find the true Paul, but I have no idea what it will look like. I’m getting rid of the familiar and embracing the unfamiliar. Why? Because I must grow. I’ve lived the old story for too long. It’s time to let go.

This growth has been scary, indeed, but when I look back and see what I have embraced thus far, it is nothing short of miraculous. I’m looking forward to continue my journey towards the new world and I do not fear the dragons.