Paul Lester Photo

Eventually, you’ll have to let go

Over the past few days, I’ve been bombarded, so to speak, with messages about changes. It seems that every movie that I’ve watched talks about it. I get e-mails concerning this subject, etc. Perhaps it’s the blogs that I visit, the movies that I watch, or the e-mails that I subscribe to.

I watched The Curious Case of Benjamin Button the other day. Though it was quite long, it was a very good movie … if you are receptive to it, I think. One of my favorite quotes from the move was from a character, Captain Mike who said:

You can be as mad as a mad dog at the way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the end, you have to let go. — Captain Mike

Things don’t always go the way that we want and no manner of anger is going to change it. People change. Relationships change. Locations change. People, things, events come and go. So, where am I going with this?

I remember back in high school literature class we were sometimes tasked with reading a poem, short story, or other piece of literature and would have to tell the teacher what the writer was trying to say. In other words, we had to interpret his intentions based on his words. At the time, I thought that it was pure drudgery and a great waste of time. How could I possibly know what was going through her head at the time that she wrote it. Now, I still think the same way about literature or any type of art, especially that which is dear to me, photography.

I’ve never really been drawn dilapidation; however, I do find old structures somewhat spiritual for some reason. This past Saturday, I spent time among what I would call a building graveyard. These were old government buildings that were pretty worn out and nature is having her way with them. She is reasserting herself, letting it be known that these structures were just temporary. Things change!

i was intrigued by the slow changes happening all around. These buildings were once functional, well maintained work spaces. Now, plant and insect food. Were my photographs ever to become famous, doubtless that some critic would happen by and try to make an interpretation of why I took these photos and he would probably get it wrong, unless I specifically told him. He’d base his interpretation on his past history, not on mine.

When I took the top picture, I was thinking: Wow! How tightly we try to hold on to things, yet all the while, they keep changing despite our best efforts.

This weekend I’m in Augusta, Georgia. Why? C’mon! You know! It’s got to be basketball! Tony has a tournament which is actually across the river in Aiken, SC. it was about the same distance to here from Charleston, about 3 hours. This is my first time ever being in Augusta and probably my last, unless another tournament brings me this way.

I took one of the many tourism brochures from the lobby of the hotel. It was for a place called Savannah River Rapids Park. It sounded promising. Fortunately, it is about 5 minutes from the hotel. Last night I checked the time for sunrise, set my alarm for 5:45 so as to get there about 40 minutes before the sun came up, and went to sleep. I awoke at the proper time, got dressed and headed out. After walking down to the dam, I saw a trail along the river that might offer a better view. The wide view turned out to be so-so, but I happened to walk down to a place where people launch their small boats.

After I had been there for a few minutes, a kayaker, pictured here, came down, said good morning, told me about the otters, beavers, and various wildlife that I might see, and away he went. Of course, I had to take several slow shutter speed exposures of him. This was the one that I liked best.

Next came a man with a small fishing boat and a kitten. He said that he had just found the kitten in his driveway this morning and picked it up. He thought that the kitten might like to go fishing! He noticed my camera and wanted to know what I was using. I told him that it was a digital camera. He said that he used to be a photographer for about 20 years, shooting weddings using Hassleblad equipment. Now, he and other photographer buddies of his have day jobs. They no longer shoot. Him, primarily because of some ankle surgery and a torn ACL (knee ligament). He said, though, that he doesn’t miss it much. He’d much prefer to do his day job than to deal with all of the Bridezillas that he had to work with most every Saturday.

As he hold me his story, I watched the light continue to change. I was somewhat anxious to continue shooting, but then my whole attitude changed to one of thankfulness. In this time period where there is so much political correctness and fear about almost everything, especially strangers, I felt quite honored that he would take the time out of his day to stop and tell me his story. After that, I simply relaxed, didn’t care about the light, and was really interested in what he had to say. He told me about his one encounter with a computer in his home and why he got rid of it. His daughter did a search in the Internet for ‘toys’ and the pictures that she got back were not suitable for younger audiences. He is a very religious man, so wanted the evil thing out of his house. So, he’s not willing to bring another one in and learn about digital photography. He said he’d stick with film.

So, finally, we finished our conversation, which lasted about 20 minutes or more. The sun was now above the horizon and about to peak above the trees. I walked across the spillway’s walkway and attempted to get some pictures of the river, where I encountered more folks who wanted to talk. What can I say. Sometimes the morning is more about bonding and good conversation then it is about photos.

I purchased my Mamiya 645e on May 11th and had it in my hands, thanks to the slowness of the United States Postal Service, around May 18th or perhaps May 20th. So, I’ve had it about 7 weeks, give or take. The seller included 2 rolls of B&W film: 1 TMAX 100, and 1 roll TMAX 400. I purchased an additional 10 rolls: 5 of Ilford Pan F+ (ISO 50), and 5 rolls of Ilford FP4+. Each allowing 15 exposures. All told, I had 12 x 15, or 180 exposures available. So far, I’ve used 10 of the 12 rolls. I have 2 rolls of FP4 remaining. After developing all of the rolls, I’m pretty sure that I’ll stick with the Pan F+. I just like very slow films. I can even shoot it at ISO 25. I have just received 10 more rolls of FP4 along with a bottle of favorite developer, Rodinal!

What I’ve learned
One huge advantage of shooting digital is the ability to have an option. This has uncovered a weakness in my photography. I don’t see shades so well anymore. I’m out of practice. What do I mean? Well, shooting B&W film, you have one chance to get it right. You cannot look at the picture, after the fact, and decide if you’d like it to be color or black & white. It’s black & white. Period.

There have been several shots that I’ve taken that I thought would be absolutely dreamy; however, they came out quite confusing to the eye and required lots and lots of work to get them looking halfway decent. For example, when I peered into a section of woods, there was a soft light falling on some fairly new leaves. They stood out for the surrounding woods quite prominently … in color, because everything was a different shade of green. In black & white, they are subtle shades of gray. There does not appear to be much separation. The negative is well exposed, but a slight bit contrasty. None of the tones are blown out, so the negative is certainly serviceable, but would require a bit of work. I need to work on post processing anyway. It’s all about learning!

I’ve also discovered that for equivalent apparent sharpness, I need to stop down about 2 stops from where I would normally shoot. The focus falloff on a medium format camera is pretty swift, not quite as swift as with a large format camera, but fast enough to make it noticeable!

Although I love photographing in the woods though I find it difficult to get a good picture, which is exactly why I’ll spend more time there. However, there is another place, near work, that has some absolutely lovely buildings that are quickly returning to Nature. The buildings are showing lots of rust, decay, and vines, vines, vines! All structures are impermanent … an important Tao/Zen lesson! Nothing lasts for ever … better get a picture of it!