
This past week when I was in Charlotte I viewed the weather forecast and saw that we were expecting pretty cold temperatures for Sunday morning. I hoped that there would be some frost. When I woke up, sure enough, it was about 25 degrees and there was indeed frost everywhere. I got out of bed, dressed, and headed for one of my favorite spots, the gardens at UNCC.
As I walked about the gardens, I noticed these plants. Some plants were in their full fall regalia and looking quite splendid. Others were newly green, and still others were a full green. Then, there were some that had died. Here, represented in these plants were the full cycle of life. Isn’t photography a wonderful exploratory tool?
I’ve been reading a book: Death of a hero, birth of a soul, by John C. Robinson. It’s a book about the things that men go through in midlife. To say that I was stunned would be an understatement. This is a book that had me searching for hidden cameras in my car, my house, and at my job, even inside of head!
In reading the pages I saw my life unfold right before me in those printed words. My feelings bared on paper. It is interesting that men all go through these same things sometime between 40 and 60 years of age. He talks about the seasons of life:
Spring: When everything is new. This is from childhood through adolescence. This is when life was innocent, but where we took our first wounds from our parents, teachers, society, etc. These wounds would shape us and affect us all through our life and make themselves known and felt again in midlife.
Summer: Here is where we leave home and embark on the hero’s journey. Time to conquer the world, save the fair maiden, have our own kingdom, and become king.
Fall (Midlife): Uh oh. A time of disillusionment. Things didn’t work out as we planned. Body is changing and there are little aches and pains. I’m not young anymore. What’s that thing down the road? Mortality? You mean I don’t have forever? Questions! Questions! Questions! What is my purpose? Is there a purpose? Did I do all of this stuff because I wanted to or because I felt that I had to? More questions. Climbing the corporate ladder? Whose ladder? Time to face those childhood wounds now. No more running away. No more deflection. No fighting the pain, just let it come. Work through it. Compassion blossoms, competition diminishes.
Winter: A time of rest. Retirement. Time to do what I want to do. Time to learn more about letting go. Friends are passing on, dying. You can’t take it with you. In the end, you must let it all go, but what a wonderful ride it has been.
Those are not his words, but my summary of what I’ve taken from this wonderful book. I highly recommend it for guys between 40 and 60 who may wonder what the heck is going on. I thought back to my sudden urge to volunteer again. I’m very glad that I did. It has been very fulfilling. As one who is fully in the autumn of his life, I find it a very interesting and often unsettling place, but I know that it is something that I must go through. Some of it is really good, the other, well, let’s just say that it is necessary.






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