Yesterday, Tony said that he wanted to get up early and get a good start on golfing, while it was cool outside. Good idea. I woke up at my usual time of around 6:30, woke him and his friend, Brandon up at around 7:00. The first thing that Tony said to me was: Ummmm. Poppa. They have a dress code. No athletic shorts or t-shirts. Huh? I thought we were going to play golf! I had him call just to make sure and, sure enough, khakis and a shirt with a collar was required. Damn! We were able to get a 10:06 AM tee time.
I had to make a quick run to Target to get some shorts, a shirt, and some golf balls. I picked some cranberry colored shorts, some khakis, and 36 golf balls, figuring that should be enough to hold us for 9 holes. I figured that I’d be responsible for losing a great quantity of those golf balls. And I was right!
After a trip back home and quick change, now dressed in cranberry color shorts, a white polo shirt, sock, and sneakers, it was time to the green, or whatever they call it. We drove there, stopped at the front desk, I paid for us, rented some golf clubs, bought Tony a glove, and away we went.
The first stop was the driving range. We had about 20 minutes and two buckets of balls. Mind you, I have never played. We did dispense with those balls quickly. This was to be an omen of future things to come, for sure. It was rather comical watching me trying to hit that little, unassuming, STATIONARY ball. You’d have thought that it was moving given the number of times that I actually missed it and took out a divot of dirt or two. To my credit, I did hit a couple of lucky shots that went about 100+ yards in a generally straight line. Tony, on the other hand, hits the ball well, has great follow through, and a terrible slice. His balls rise high and then suddenly make a right turn. They seem to be attracted to the trees. LOL!
When it was time to tee off, they let me lead. Brandon was giving some hilarious color commentary the whole time. According to him I had this cranberry aura that I brought from the senior PGA tour. I will tell you, I have new respect for golfers. This game ain’t easy, but it is fun with Tony and Brandon. They had me laughing the entire time, making me forget, for the most part, about the 95 degree heat. Of course, the young ladies with the drink cart helped me forget too. They were selling 85 cent Poweraids for $2.75, but when you are hot and thirsty, your wallet doesn’t notice. I bought two rounds of those for us. Heat will make you do that!
During the time that we played what could be called ‘golf’ only in the most general sense, I hit the ball into the woods, into the water, the sand, and occasionally, onto the green! We didn’t keep score; that would have been just plain embarrassing! Every once in a while, I’d hit a good, straight shot and have absolutely no idea how I did it. I tried to call on my powers of Tai Chi, but even with the calmness and the proper flowing of the energy, I still stunk up the place … I was very calm while doing it, though.
On the way back, Vera called and asked if I enjoyed myself. I said, yes, I did. This was true. I had a great time with the guys. The next question was: Is it something that you think that you’d like to do more of? That answer was a hearty, NO! I might like to go to a driving range now and again. One of the employees suggested that I’d get much more enjoyment out of it if I took a few lessons first. Probably so, but I doubt that I could get any more enjoyment than I had today spending time with my son and his friend. Where else can you get to laugh for almost 3 hours straight?!
Lastly, I’m still not the Paul Lester that does golf photos, though I have been known, now, to step onto a golf course!