When the student is ready, the teacher will appear
How many times have I heard the above quote. I always thought that it was cool, somewhat mystical; however, I see that it is, at least to me, practical and true. In other words, when I am ready to learn about something, I will seek out a way to learn about it, or that way will be presented to me in some manner.
There are a number of books that I will give credit to over the next few days. I just feel like talking about books. 🙂 These books have made a serious impact to my life, way of thinking, and how I live on a day to day basis, having, from my point of view, a very positive impact.
I’m not sure that I came upon Dr. Glover’s book, No More Mr. Nice Guy, but, at that time, I really needed. I think that, perhaps, my friend James recommended it to me. Since purchasing the audio version of it some 7 years ago, I’ve listed to it countless times and have converted from being that pleasing, emasculated, wimpy kind of boy/man into a man who feels confident in his own space, having his own opinions, and doing his own thing, enjoying life and not seeking the approval of women, or anyone else for that matter. I love being a man! Is it better than being a woman? I have no idea as I zero experience at being a woman. 🙂
We are constantly bombarded by Hollywood images of “maleness”. It’s either the somewhat lovable buffoon who needs a woman to keep him straight, or he’s either outright incompetent and without the help of his significant other, a woman, he couldn’t navigate through life. Also, there’s the overly sensitive man that is forever appeasing his woman, treating her like a queen, being her servant, meeting her entitled way of thinking. We rarely see images of men off doing guy things with other guys, happy in their own skin, their own maleness – out doing, inventing, playing, being men, etc.
Because of the memory fear created in childhood, Nice Guys still approach the world as if it is dangerous and overpowering. To cope with these realities, Nice Guys typically hunker down and play it safe.
~Dr. Robert Glover: No More Mr. Nice Guy
I’ve learned how to play, to embrace my maleness, and be happy with me. Not only has this improved my relationship with women, but I’ve learned how to say “Yes”, when I mean, “Yes”, and “No”, when I mean “No”. Seems obvious, but when you come from a place of peacekeeping and not wanting to rock the boat, well, it’s not so simple. A little boat rocking can be soothing at times 😀 Also, I’ve learned to think about my needs, what works for me, what doesn’t, and to carve out my life as such without the least amount of guilt.
Probably one of the biggest benefits, to me, is that I’ve learned how, through this book and others, be by myself and be really happy with it, enjoy my own company.
I’ve already recommended this to a number of young men, older ones too. I think that it’s good knowledge to have, at least I can say, it was very good for me.