Kickin’ it old school

 Humor, Personal  3 Responses »
Jan 182012
 

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I stopped by my one of my coworker’s desk, Avis, on my way to get something to eat. I’ll usually stop by for a brief chat if she’s in. Today, we chatted for a few minutes, then she said:

Aw, man! I forgot that New Edition tickets went on sale at 10:00 this morning. It was about 10:30, or so. She turned around, went to the ticket site, and started to look for her tickets. I told her that I’d catch her later.

Sometime later, she stopped by my cubicle and said: Man! They’ve got it blocked (Bank of America). I can find the tickets, but can’t purchase them. That page is blocked. I guess that I’ll have to wait until I bet home.

I said, don’t they have a toll free number? She got a funny look on her face and said: Ha! I didn’t even think of that. Away she went.

Sometime later I asked if the low-tech solution worked. She said that it had. I told her next she’ll be using stamps and envelopes to send things. She thought that that was pretty funny.

Sometimes, low-tech works!

 Posted by Paul at 1:00 am  Tagged with:

Wild geese and Red Herrings

 Humor, Personal  7 Responses »
Jan 172012
 

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Now, what will they come up with next, I wonder!

Scott Adams has a made a lot of money from his Dilbert cartoon. I love the cartoon because it pokes big fun at corporate America, deservingly so. Periodically, like today, I’ll have a Dilbert moment:

Today was pretty funny. Well, I have to laugh sometimes in order not to cry. There I was at my desk, minding my own business when suddenly a MOC (Microsoft Office Communicator) session starts with 9 people. It was from the project manager of another team. He was wanting to know why this particular defect wasn’t fixed. They tried a number of scenarios and none of them presented an issue on our side. So, I got the bright idea to ask:

Has anyone bothered testing this to see if it works? Seems like everything is order.

No one admitted to testing it, only assuming that it was still broken and absorbing the time of 9 people to verify this. My next question was:

Are we chasing wild geese or fishing for red herrings?

For some reason, no one thought that that was funny. :D I thought that it was hilarious. I was cracking myself up! LOL

Anyway, someone finally tested it and found that, indeed, it had been fixed. They decided to close the defect. After ending this MOC session, I noticed an email that had been sent some hours before indicating that the defect had been fixed and was no longer an issue. And, whose name should be on the list? The guy who started the whole chat. Nice! Perhaps he should read his e-mail!

Sometimes, ya gotta laugh, and I did!

 Posted by Paul at 8:19 pm  Tagged with:

Good ole Southern Eating

 Humor  20 Responses »
Sep 072011
 

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Fried Bologna Sandwich! Mmmmmm! Mmmmmmm! Good!

As James and I walked down the streets of Charleston, we came upon this sign. It brought a smile to my face and a couple of memories: My father loved bologna on a sandwich. It was what he usually took with him when he went fishing. Bologna and mayo on white bread. Not what one would call a healthy meal, but it did the trick when you were out on the lake and getting hungry. Just reach into the cooler, grab one, chow down, continue fishing. Haute cuisine is not required when you are fishing, besides, that little bit of fish slime that you have on your hands tends to change the taste of food a bit, but I digress! :)

Another thing that I remembered was that on some days, he would fry a piece or two of bologna, add some Velveeta cheese to it, slap it on some bread and you’ve have a different kind of sandwich, for sure. I don’t remember how long ago it was, but I introduced Tony to a fried bologna sandwich. We were at the grocery store, I saw some bologna, got a small pack of it, and decided to fry some up for him.

At first, he thought that it was weird, but when he tasted it, he asked: Can I have this every day for lunch?! My reply was: Well, if your mother found out about it, we’d be dead, for sure! So, no! LOL

It’s nice to see that some restaurants are sticking with tradition, even though it may not be fashionable these days as people grow more and more health conscious. Certainly, fried bologna is not on the list of nutritious or healthy foods, but it sure is tasty! Ever had one?

 Posted by Paul at 9:50 am  Tagged with:

Certainly not in the know!

 Humor  9 Responses »
Aug 232011
 

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Hmmmm. I wonder if he’s trying to tell me something?

Strike One
A couple of weeks ago my son, Pedro, called to ask if everything was alright. I assured him that things were, but I was quite puzzled as to why he would call and ask me such a thing. I had just left the movie theater with James and Tim. We were on our way back home. Pedro told me that it was flooding in Charlotte and that someone had died. Huh? Well, it had rained for a few minutes, pretty hard, but nowhere near flooding.

When I got home, I found that one part of the city had received some torrential type rains for about an hour, which had swollen some creeks. One women, who was shoplifting and tried to get away, ran into the creek, was carried away, and drowned. This was the flooding that he was talking about, a single, isolated, flash flood with one death.

Strike Two
I received a call from Pedro, again, this time last week. He asked if everything was alright. I said: Why wouldn’t it be? He said that he had heard that Bank of America was going to let go of 3,500 people. I didn’t know this! Hmmm. You’d think that as an employee I’d know this, but, I didn’t. I had to read about it after I got the call.

Strike Three
Today, around 5:00 PM as I was leaving work, Tony calls me from Missouri and asked if I was alright. I said: Why wouldn’t I be? He said because you guys had an earthquake. It’s on the news and everything. I said: Well, it must have been an awfully small one because no one around here felt it. :)

After I hung up with him, I did a quick search and, sure enough, there had been an earthquake near Washington, DC. According to reports, the earthquake came in at a 5.9, which is moderate on the Richter scale. Well, I’ll be damned. An earthquake. Didn’t know about that either.

I really like not having a television and not being in the know, sometimes; however, perhaps one day, I’ll come outside and everyone will have been abducted by aliens and I won’t have a clue as to what happened. I’d probably go home and write a blog about it. LOL

 Posted by Paul at 7:44 pm  Tagged with:

When the dog won’t cooperate

 Humor  3 Responses »
Jul 112011
 

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Unconvinced Canine!

I was in Brevard, NC the other day, taking a break from the heat of the city. I sat there in front of one of my favorite places, Looking Glass Falls. As I watched the myriad people frolic about in the water, I noticed a woman and a man trying to get their dog to stay still and ‘pose’ in the water.

The dog liked the water well enough, but was not interested in going into water where it would have to swim. Wading, for this dog, was just fine. They tried, with limited success, to coax the dog into the deeper water. I’m not sure what was bothering the dog, the depth of the water, the roar of the waterfall, or the movement of the water. At any rate, he was having none of it.

What to do? What to do? Suddenly! An Aha! moment. That’s right, pick the dog up, hold him in your arms, let the wife get the shot! Perfect. Yeah, that’s normal! LOL

Sometimes, you have to take matters into your own hands when your dog won’t cooperate!

 Posted by Paul at 9:00 pm  Tagged with:

A LOL moment for me.

 Humor  8 Responses »
Jun 292011
 

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Now! That’s a sunset!!!
I had a flashback this morning and a good laugh at my own expense. I remember back when I was young and had excellent vision. As a matter of fact, it was extremely good. I tested 20/10, both left and right, and 20/5 with both eyes; Basically, it meant that I could read the little line at the bottom at 20 feet when normal vision would indicate that you needed to be about 5 feet away to read it. Eagle eyes!

Well, some 30 years later, things have changed at bit. My last visit to the eye doctor indicated that my vision is now 20/30. No need for glasses, save for reading glasses when the font gets a bit small or the light gets dim.

I used to call my father “old man” when I he asked me to thread a needle or read the instructions on a medicine bottle that had particularly small print.

Ah, those were the days …

So, this morning, I was getting ready to go into the office. I grabbed my favorite pair of khakis, went to put them on, touched the button and it fell off. Crap! Oh well, I have a needle, some thread, and a few minutes to fix this right up and I’ll be on my way in no time!

I rummaged through the kitchen drawer, found the implements that I needed: 1 needle. 1 spool of black thread. I grabbed my reading glasses on the way to the chair, put them on, turn on the 3-way light to its brightest position and attempted to thread the needle.

The first attempt failed, as did the second, third, and forth attempts. It was getting frustrated. I remembered that the little needle threader had broken, so that was out. Then, I had the thought: Why must they make these things so small?… I wish that Tony were here to do this for me … that’s when it hit. I had a good laugh out loud at that! It finally happened to me. I became my father! :D

I did not try a fifth time: What’s the point? I simply went, got a different pair of pants, selected a different shirt, and went to work! Game over!

Another item has been added to my list of things to buy … a needle threader!

 Posted by Paul at 9:06 am

A local celebrity?

 Humor  9 Responses »
Jun 082011
 

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On this morning’s walk we met, for the first time, a lady walking another Miniature Schnauzer. This guy was a bit smaller than Hobbs, but displayed the same curious, fearless nature. When we got up to them the lady said:

I see you guys walking every morning. My dog barks at your dog as we pass in the car.

Over the past 10 months that I’ve been walking in this area, I’ve come across a number of people who have spoken to me. I’d like to share some of the quotes:

A lady stops in her car, rolls down the window and says:

You’re such a good dog owner. I see you walking your dog every day!

A man stops at a red light and shouts out the window:

Good morning. I hate to tell you, but you’re missing a dog. This was on a morning when I let Hobbs rest.

As I’m about to cross in front of an elementary school, one of the moms pulls up and says out of her window:

I’ve been seeing you walk the entire school you and let you tell, it’s working! You look gooooooood! :)

Walking down Tryon St, I hear from across the street a lady yell:

Good morning, Hobbs! How are you sweet baby!

In one of the stores, or local restaurants, I don’t remember, a lady says:

I know you! You’re that guy that walks every morning. You have such a cute dog!

The other day as I was taking Hobbs out to go to the bathroom, a lady that I’ve never seen, apparently one of my upstairs neighbors says:

Good morning, Hobbs. How are you? WTH??? How does she know Hobbs? I’ve never seen this lady before in my life!

At the end of this morning’s walk, we are about to enter the apartment, and from down the hall, my neighbor, who is talking on her cell phone says:

Hold on a minute, I got to speak to my baby! Hey, Hobbs. Come here my sweetheart!

Hmmmpf! I’d like to say that I’m the local celebrity, but I think that I know better. It’s my dog!

At least one of the comments didn’t involve Hobbs. Hopefully all of this attention doesn’t make his head swell!

 Posted by Paul at 7:33 am  Tagged with:
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