Ohhhhh. That’s what she wanted!
Did you hear what happened? He didn’t have a clue!
Well, I’m about to use yet another word herein that I’ve not used before. However, this time I won’t tell you what it is. You’ll have to look for it. Haha. It’ll be easy to spot.
OK. I’m not a street savvy guy. Never have been, probably never will be. So, here I am, downtown Akron, shooting pictures with Chris Klug. Yes! We met this weekend, but more on that in another post.
So, here we are in the heart of downtown, across from the library, taking photos. We each sit on the edge of a water fountain that has some interesting modern art, taking photos from a different angle. I finished first, then started looking around for other things to photograph. Chris kept shooting.
I noticed movement out of the corner of my eye. A young lady was approaching. She had a shaved head, a pretty face, and a nice set of … ummm, personality. 
She came right up to the fountain and sat beside me. A conversation ensued:
Lady: What’s up?
Paul: Nothing much. What’s up with you?
Lady: Just out looking for a place to spend the night.
Paul: Oh really?
Lady: Yes. Really.
Paul: (Silence … don’t know what else to say. “Nice weather” doesn’t seem appropriate)
Lady: So, like I said, I’m looking to find a place to spend the night.
Paul: Oh. Well, good luck.
Paul: Chris! You ready to go?
Chris: Ready when you are.
Paul: (to lady). Well, it was nice meeting you. We’re from out of town and we are just down here doing some photography.
Lady: OK.
So, we left. That was that. When I told the story to my brother, Charles, he laughed pretty hard. He said: Doug! (my middle name). You didn’t know that that was a hooker trying to pick you up? What she was saying was that she wanted the two, or perhaps three of you, to get a room, transact some business, and then she’d keep the room the rest of the night. My brother Charles, in his earlier years was of the street, for the street, by the street, so I trust his interpretations of these things fully!
I said to Charles: Ummmmm. No, I didn’t know that! 
Well, I know a little bit about cameras, but precious little about the street!
Hobbs, you’re all wet!
To say that Hobbs has an slight aversion to water would be, shall we say, a huge understatement. He accepts it as something to drink. He will stay still long enough to take a short bath, but doesn’t like it, but other than that, water has absolutely no use for him.
On our morning walks, people usually have their sprinkler systems going. Hobbs walks on my left; we always walk the opposite direction of traffic, with him safely away from any traffic, but close to the medians where the sprinklers are. Fortunately for him, most of the sprinklers point inwardly towards the lawns, with the occasional errant sprinkler spraying a bit of water into the street.
Whenever Hobbs spies such an errant sprinkler, he immediate starts a slight slant to the right, wanting nothing to do with that sprinkler. This morning, around 7:25, we were finishing up our walk. We were on the side walk, Hobbs on the left, me on the right, the median to the left. Suddenly, the sprinklers on the median came on. There were 5 of them directly in our path, streams crossing the sidewalk.
At first, I thought that I would go out in the street, avoiding the water, but it was warm and humid and I was sweating. I thought that a nice spray of water would feel pretty good. The streams were starting out at about mid-calf height and shooting upwards. Mind you, this put them right about even with Hobbs’ side. Figuring that he might be a bit hot and bothered, I took us through the stream. LOL! He tried to fight it, but had to take it.
To my credit, I only took him through two of them and let him avoid the other three. It’s just the kind of guy that I am. Well, to add insult to injury, I made him sit and took his picture!
I guess that the title of the post is 1/2 accurate because his right side was still dry; however, all is not loss, the sprinklers come on at 7:25 AM tomorrow … maybe we’ll just happen to be walking by in the other direction! Haha!
Strange questions
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth. ~Sir Authur Conan Doyle
Yesterday, it was big relief to see the A/C repairman. My favorite guy, for that day anyway. After he fixed the A/C he came to the door expecting payment, which I gladly, ever so gladly tendered without hesitation. He was my hero for the day.
I came back inside, put the receipt down, put the wallet down, and then went back to work. Happy that the house was starting to cool down. Ahhhh. Sometime later, let’s call it an hour, I needed my wallet because I was going to go out and do a little bit of shopping.
I’m a creature of habit and 99% of the time, place my wallet in the same place. I went there. It wasn’t there. Hmmmm. I looked in all of the usual places, but no dice. Vera had just come back in from her trip to Dallas and was sleeping in one of the downstairs rooms. I didn’t want to disturb her. As I could find it nowhere else, I waited, sort of. I continued to look. Upstairs. Downstairs. Here. There. Everywhere. No place else that it could be other than in the room with Vera. Waiting …
Some hours later, she awoke. I told her about my lost wallet and proceeded to turn the room upside down looking for it. No wallet. Double Hmmmm. Where could it have gone. In the meantime, Tony had come home, gone upstairs and went to sleep. I thought, maybe, just maybe, he picked it up by accident and took it upstairs with him. More waiting.
When Tony woke up, I asked and he said no, he didn’t pick it up. He knew that his own wallet was in the car. Damn! OK. So, he started helping me look, as did Vera. They came up with some wacky suggestions of places to look. The funny thing is, I had already looked there.
Tony: Did you look in the refrigerator?
Paul: Yep. Already did. Took most everything out and looked. Looked in the freezer, too. (Subscribing to the truth in the quote above).
Vera: What about the trash?
Paul: Yep. Both inside and out.
Tony: The backyard.
Paul: Been there. Done that … even though I hadn’t been outside. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
OK. So, after about 30 minutes of steady searching, I hear from upstairs:
Tony: Hey, Pops! Here you go.
Paul: You found it? Where?
Tony: Ummmm. Remember that I said that I didn’t pick it up. I guess that I did. It was in my room.
Paul: Thank you!
Now, I would love to show you a photo of his room, but it is rather embarrassing. Just imagine a landfill … I would never even think of going in there in search of something. I might not be heard from again.
So, you see, I did put it in the same place as always, on the kitchen counter, and for whatever reason, he picked it up, took it upstairs, placed it in the, umm, landfill/room, and had to discover it later. Lucky for me that he found it, or it would have been lost forever. I ain’t goin in that room!
Drive-thru conversations
Robert (flying through the air) and Jesse doing some of that Jet Li stuff!
On the lunch break during the workshop on Saturday, I went to Chick-Fil-A to grab a bite to eat. As I pulled my car to the window, an interesting conversation took place:
Drive Through Guy (DTG): Hello, sir. That will be $7.32.
Paul: Here you go (hands ATM card)
DTG: (Noticing quite dapper black Peaceful Dragon Shirt): Hey! Are you a teacher over there?
Paul: No. I’m a student.
DTG: What do they teach over there?
Paul: Mostly Tai Chi and Kung Fu.
DTG: Do they teach that stuff that Jet Li does?
Paul: Well, Jet Li does a number of different martial arts.
DTG: I guess what I want to know is that can they teach me to kick ass like Jet Li?
Paul (Laughs). Well, I guess you could learn.
DTG: How long would it take?
Paul: Well, around 10,000 – 20,000 hours, if you practice daily.
DTG: Man! I ain’t got that kinda time. I just want to learn how to kick ass!
Paul: (Smiles, on the edge of cracking up): Well, it takes lots of practice to be like Jet Li.
DTG: How much does it cost?
Paul: You should check it out for yourself. You might consider it a bargain.
DTG: I don’t know. It sounds like too much time and money. Here’s your food. Have a nice day.
Paul: You too.
I wonder if Jet Li got it for free. Fun stuff!
The tower of e-vil
I’ve been greatly missing my creativity. It seems like it has been on hiatus for a very long time, but now I feel some sparks of it returning. Today, I was sitting with my good friend, Rajesh. He and a fellow coworker of mine, Tim, were talking about something to do with politics. Well, that didn’t interest me in the least, so I just sat there quietly feeling the breeze, enjoying the sunshine, people watching, and listening to the general hum of dozens of voices, even taking in the offensive cigarette smoke that was drifting from a nearby table.
Usually, sometime after 1:00 PM, the sun will make its way from the back side of Hearst Tower and illuminate the courtyard, causing the temperatures to rise rapidly, Today there was a bit of cloud cover, delaying the temperature rise, thankfully.
As Tim and Rajesh went on and on about the politics, I happened to look up, see some interesting clouds above Hearst Tower and thought: I wish I had my camera … but wait, I do have a camera. That cell phone camera again. I reached in the pocket, got it out, and took about 3 photos. I liked this one best. All of them had some blow out in the highlights, but that’s what you get.
Anyway, after playing with this a bit, I converted it to B&W and started having a bit of fun. Eventually, it kind of looked like something that I might read in a Stephen King book or something.
I’m pretty sure that this would not be something that Bank of America would want on their brochures or on their yearly shareholders meeting pamphlet. Anyway, just good clean fun and something fun to do while not discussing politics.
A sport with a dress code?
Yesterday, Tony said that he wanted to get up early and get a good start on golfing, while it was cool outside. Good idea. I woke up at my usual time of around 6:30, woke him and his friend, Brandon up at around 7:00. The first thing that Tony said to me was: Ummmm. Poppa. They have a dress code. No athletic shorts or t-shirts. Huh? I thought we were going to play golf! I had him call just to make sure and, sure enough, khakis and a shirt with a collar was required. Damn! We were able to get a 10:06 AM tee time.
I had to make a quick run to Target to get some shorts, a shirt, and some golf balls. I picked some cranberry colored shorts, some khakis, and 36 golf balls, figuring that should be enough to hold us for 9 holes. I figured that I’d be responsible for losing a great quantity of those golf balls. And I was right!
After a trip back home and quick change, now dressed in cranberry color shorts, a white polo shirt, sock, and sneakers, it was time to the green, or whatever they call it. We drove there, stopped at the front desk, I paid for us, rented some golf clubs, bought Tony a glove, and away we went.
The first stop was the driving range. We had about 20 minutes and two buckets of balls. Mind you, I have never played. We did dispense with those balls quickly. This was to be an omen of future things to come, for sure. It was rather comical watching me trying to hit that little, unassuming, STATIONARY ball. You’d have thought that it was moving given the number of times that I actually missed it and took out a divot of dirt or two. To my credit, I did hit a couple of lucky shots that went about 100+ yards in a generally straight line. Tony, on the other hand, hits the ball well, has great follow through, and a terrible slice. His balls rise high and then suddenly make a right turn. They seem to be attracted to the trees. LOL!
When it was time to tee off, they let me lead. Brandon was giving some hilarious color commentary the whole time. According to him I had this cranberry aura that I brought from the senior PGA tour. I will tell you, I have new respect for golfers. This game ain’t easy, but it is fun with Tony and Brandon. They had me laughing the entire time, making me forget, for the most part, about the 95 degree heat. Of course, the young ladies with the drink cart helped me forget too. They were selling 85 cent Poweraids for $2.75, but when you are hot and thirsty, your wallet doesn’t notice. I bought two rounds of those for us. Heat will make you do that!
During the time that we played what could be called ‘golf’ only in the most general sense, I hit the ball into the woods, into the water, the sand, and occasionally, onto the green! We didn’t keep score; that would have been just plain embarrassing! Every once in a while, I’d hit a good, straight shot and have absolutely no idea how I did it. I tried to call on my powers of Tai Chi, but even with the calmness and the proper flowing of the energy, I still stunk up the place … I was very calm while doing it, though.
On the way back, Vera called and asked if I enjoyed myself. I said, yes, I did. This was true. I had a great time with the guys. The next question was: Is it something that you think that you’d like to do more of? That answer was a hearty, NO! I might like to go to a driving range now and again. One of the employees suggested that I’d get much more enjoyment out of it if I took a few lessons first. Probably so, but I doubt that I could get any more enjoyment than I had today spending time with my son and his friend. Where else can you get to laugh for almost 3 hours straight?!
Lastly, I’m still not the Paul Lester that does golf photos, though I have been known, now, to step onto a golf course!
Martial Artists get hungry, too
Near the end of the tournament, someone was expressing their desires.