Wisdom of a Grandmaster

 Personal, Photography  1 Response »
Jul 102010
 

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My friend Robert asked that I write more so that he could keep up with me and know what I’m doing. With that in mind, here you go, Robert:

This weekend, I am attending a Tai Chi workshop with our Grandmaster, Ma Foren. He has been studying martial arts for approximately 60 years. I had never met a Grandmaster before and had no idea what to expect. Students who have attended his annual workshop previously, all said that it was an event not to be missed.

I arrived at the school around 9:30 AM, for a 10:00 AM start. I looked around, but Grandmaster was nowhere in sight. I know what I look like from his Facebook page. Yes, our GM has a Facebook page! Around 9:45, I had to go back out to the car to get something. He had just arrived. He was walking across the parking lot, flanked by two other gentleman. He is a small man, probably about 5 foot, 6 inches tall, or for my metric system friends, 168 cm. If I had to guess, he probably weighs in at about 125 – 140 pounds (57 – 66 kg) … maybe.

When I returned inside, I went to our main studio to await the beginning of the workshop with approximately 80 other students. The room was awash with excitement and lots of anticipation about what we might learn and how it was going to be. Grandmaster entered the studio at about 10:10 and immediately, 80 or so students, which included or instructors as well as our Sifu, Master Eric Sbarge, came to an immediate, pin-drop silence. After he was introduced, we all applauded, we bowed-in, showing proper respect for our lineage, and then the workshop began. Grandmaster asked for us to form a circle.

He began speaking about a form that he was developing called the Shadow Form and how difficult it is for new students, masters, and some grandmasters to grasp. They have gave us a demo, not of Shadow Form, but to demonstrate the need for the ‘form’. He invited any student to come forward who knew Shaolin Kempo 10-point blocking system. Of course, someone volunteered. :-) Grandmaster asked the volunteer to then place his left arm behind him and do the blocking. He couldn’t. Next, GM asked that he remove bring his left forward, place his right back, again, the student could not do it. Next, he invited one of our instructors to to the same thing. Of course, the instructor could to it, as GM expected, because he had had time to think about it; however, GM has a number of tricks up his sleeve and asked him to start with one hand up and one down instead of both down and do the system. He couldn’t do it.

This, he said, was not to embarrass, but to prove a point. Before I say what that point is, I would like to divert just a tad to a short story that I have read, in different variations, over the past year or two. It really had no significance at the time, but came into crystal clarity today. The story goes:

A monk went to the master and asked: How can I become the best archer that I can be? The master replied: You must go and learn everything that you can about archery. You must practice daily for many years and then you must forget everything that you know about archery. It is only then that you will become the best archer that you can be.

Mind you, this is certainly not verbatim, nor may it be even close, but you’ll get the picture. Continuing on … What GM was demonstrating to the two volunteers was that they knew a form, or ‘formula’. Real life doesn’t happen in formula. He said that were learning a Kung Fu form, but not becoming Kung Fu. When you rely on a form, you cannot be creative, in the moment. That’s when it hit me about the archery story. The master was saying learn everything that you can about the form, but then drop the form and become archery. Become the bow. Become the arrow. GM went on to say that when we train we must become the art form. We must become the Tai Chi, or the Kung Fu, or whatever. We must practice it so much that we become it, not only learn it.

What a profound beginning and we hadn’t even picked up our spears yet. There’s so much more to tell. At the end of the day, I was pretty tired. 5 hours of practice will do that to you. Today, I should be able to get some photos as there is a children’s class as well as some demos, so photographic opportunities should abound.

 Posted by Paul at 7:22 am  Tagged with: , ,

Conflict resolved

 Photography  20 Responses »
Mar 152010
 

“One of the truest tests of integrity is its blunt refusal to be compromised. ~~Chinua Achebe”

Finally, I am able to share some things that I had not been able to share earlier, or didn’t feel comfortable doing while employed with a defense contractor.

From 1986 until 1992, I worked for Raytheon, a defense contractor. At the time, they were known as E-Systems, Garland Division. When I left there I swore to myself never to return to defense contract work, especially in any capacity that required a secret clearance or above. There were no noble reasons behind it, I just didn’t like the hassle of the clearance and all that it entailed. The invasion of privacy, big brother and all that.
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Flash forward to July 2008, 16 years outside of defense. I took another job as an employee of a government contractor. Never say never. I didn’t give it too much of a thought. I needed a job, so I went back in. It was the closest thing that I could get to home. Problem solved … at least for the first 10 months, or so. As part of the job, we had to pay a visit to an Air Force base in Jacksonville, Florida around the June timeframe, I think. Let’s call it June 2009. The four of us were looking forward to going and getting to see the aircraft where our software would be installed.

The first day was a travel day, nothing doing until the next morning. The next morning, we got up, met in the lobby, and ate breakfast together. A couple of our sponsors were there, so we ate with them. As we ate, somehow the conversation turned to work and the ‘hopes’ for the system. Talk turned to kill ratios, and effective kill zones, and the efficiency of killing. Talk continued about bad guys and how they deserved to be killed and that the system that we were working on would allow the Navy to have a lower cost per kill. Truthfully, I was speechless, almost tearful. I was embarrassed. I sat mute.

The rest of the stay was pretty gray for me. I was in the dumps, but didn’t share my opinions with anyone else. Everyone else, it seemed, was into it and proud of the system. I, on the other hand was seriously conflicted. I thought: I spend all of this time, after work, marveling at the wonder that life is and appreciating all living things, but by day, I lend my abilities to death and destruction. I am a willing participant.

I sat with these feelings for months and months and finally decided to have a discussion with my wife. She told me that if that was how I felt, and she understood, then I should just quit immediately and find a job back home. I started looking, but none were available. Obviously, I kept the job, but the wind had gone out of my sails. The project, though a demo, was a success and lauded by a great many. Certainly, had I not be there to do it, they would have gotten someone else to do it and it might well have been a success.

Eventually, I moved onto another project that was basically administrative in nature. It gathered data, but deep down, it gathered data for the purposes of staging attacks, etc. Sigh. When the the word came down that I had been let go, it was a disappointment in that my ego felt a bit bruised, after all, I had been doing a good job. Later, after a few days, I felt rather elated and didn’t know why. One morning, while meditating, the answer popped up. You are no longer in conflict about your job.

Looking back, I wish that I had had the ability to pull out right as the conflict hit, but as I’m learning, sometimes you just have to sit with things and they will resolve themselves for the betterment of everyone.

 Posted by Paul at 1:38 pm  Tagged with: , , , ,

Constantly seeking newness

 Photography  7 Responses »
Mar 102010
 

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Shadows for a while – Ilford HP5+ Rodinal – 1:50 – Leica M6

The other day I posted a question on Paul Maxim’s blog: Why must someone surprise you? Today, he posted a response to that question with this post. It was a very well thought out post, worth the read. I have already posted a response to his post and I will do my best to NOT repeat it here, but instead to go into a different direction.

Monte, here’s another one of those random, pool ball shots that my brain takes. :-) This post has been on my mind for some time. If you’ve read for any time, you know of my affinity for Tao, Zen, and now meditation. These things, together, naturally form a different way of looking at things that is, in my own words, very un-Western. I like quiet. I like sitting. I like solitude. I like exploring things again and again, digging deeper and deeper, trying to get a feeling for “it”. At this time, I don’t feel the smallest need to try new things, photographically. I’m not against it, but I just don’t feel compelled the way that I used to.
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I’ve been reading John Daido Loori’s book, The Zen of Creativity: Cultivating your Artistic Life. There is much in the book but it needs to be read slowly, deliberately. But, I shall not delve into “art”, but just the concept of authenticity and what it means to me. However, the one thing that I notice is that his work is not ground breaking, new, or shocking. It is, in a word, simple and, more important to me, authentic.

I don’t mind hopping from subject to subject, trees, sky, water, sand, people, back to sand, whatever. All that I’m doing is exploring. From time to time, when I have a group of photos up, without really looking, I’ll see some themes and wonder about them for a time. I, for example, wondered why, oh why, do I have so many images of small people under big skies? I finally figured it out last week, I think. It’s rather personal, so I’ll keep that one to myself, but the one thing that I can see is that my photographs are authentic. They are truthful. They are mine. When I go out, I usually don’t have anything in mind, other than to shoot.

Lately, the fascination has been shadows and I think that I might know what that’s about, but perhaps not.

Authenticity, I think, is what I’m shooting for, if there is any goal whatsoever. To be truthful, not impressive, nor original. In my travels through the software world over the past 25 years, there’s always some new technology, or at first blush, it appears to be new, but in reality, it is the same old thing with a different coat of paint. It appears to be a different way to solve the same problems. Ultimately, all of software, it seems comes down to CRUD (Create, Retrieve, Update, Delete), there are just different ways of doing it. Nothing original, but many different, authentic ways to provide a solution.

This is certainly NOT a post damning new things. It is a post that is in favor of being willing to go against the grain of ‘newness’ in favor of exploration of what may already be known … partially. To not play to the crowd. Though, in truth, I am affected by the crowd at times by the pictures that I select to go with the post, but I’m working on that. ;-)

So, what about challenging yourself, as the mantra goes? Challenging yourself doesn’t necessarily mean moving on to something different, new, unfamiliar. It could mean getting to know, even better, that which is already known. It could mean having the courage to explore deeper.

 Posted by Paul at 12:00 am  Tagged with: ,

Zazen

 Photography  7 Responses »
Feb 092010
 

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I am reading two books right now that happen to support each other. Each echoes the other fully. This was not by design. It just happened. The first, The Presence Process by Michael Brown is about present moment awareness and meditation. The other book, Zen and Creativity, by John Daido Loori, a Zen Buddhist teacher, is about … present moment awareness, meditation, and art. Before he became a teacher, he was a photographer who was intrigued by the work of Minor White, trained with him, and became good friends over the years. It was Minor White who introduced him to meditation and letting the subject speak to him.

Both use the zazen Zen meditation, which is seated meditation. According to Tao and Zen schools of thought, meditation has absolutely no purpose except to meditate and just “be”. There are no expectations of healing, enlightenment, or any other goal. Just be.
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The first book, The Presence Process, came to me through my wife, Vera. Vera was reading it and thought that I might find it interesting. She was right. The second, Zen and Creativity, I have no idea how I found it.

No muse appears when invoked, dire need will not rouse her pity.
May Sarton

For the past 8 days, I’ve been sitting zazen and doing meditation twice a day. Once in the morning when I first get up, after a shower, and once in the evening before I go to bed. My first couple of attempts, 15 minutes, were quite comical. If you’ve never tried it, it is amazing how difficult it is to sit completely still and quiet for 15 minutes. The quiet I had no problem with. The sitting still, well that’s a different story. Also, when you sit, you realize how many hundreds of random thoughts that you have every minute. You have to constantly remind yourself to reconnect with your breathing … in 1 … out 2 … in 3 … out 4, etc. Before you know it, you’re right back to being distracted again. Now, after 8 attempts, I can last almost 20 or 30 seconds without being distracted! :-)

Anyway, I am enjoying the practice. The other day when I went to Bull Hole, I took with me my ever-present load of anxieties, thoughts, doubts, etc. You know, my traveling baggage! When I got to the park, I shot a little bit first, then found a bench next to the water and did 15 minutes of meditation. It’s nice to have those feelings leave, even if for 15 to 30 minutes. I feel somehow, cleaner, clearer.

Did this make a difference in my photography? I’m not quite sure, but it sure did make a difference in my experience. It had been a while since I’d gotten ‘lost’ and worked out of time. I spent 3 hours just exploring, looking, listening, and feeling quite good about it. Also, this time when I looked at my photos, I had a lot more that I liked than in previous outings when that baggage weighed heavily upon my back. So, did I leave the baggage there? Of course not; it’s my baggage! I still carry it with me, but am able to take a rest from it a couple of times per day.

Oh, since I’m flipping back and forth, both of these are digital shots converted to B&W.

 Posted by Paul at 8:08 am  Tagged with: , ,
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